So what is happening? The airlines are finding ways to save money everywhere; charge to check an extra bag, even a single bag, or multiple carry-ons, a fuel surcharge, less ice, food, drinks, less water! Why? To attempt to reduce weight would be the obvious conclusion, but the bigger one is that they are trying to make money and reduce costs. The 'fees' imposed on the flying public is the most noticeable way this is happening.
These are all well and good, and I understand why the industry is going in this direction these days, but I have another idea: Limit the weight per person that is allowed on the plane including the weight of the passenger. I don't claim to be a business or airline expert, so don't treat this as such.
Here's my Example: Three people who have purchased tickets on the same flight for the same price - for this discussion, $250:
Person 1:
- a 360 lb 6' 2" fat-ass who just barely fits in one seat, according to the airlines rules, brings with him 60 lbs of checked baggage and carry-ons. Not to mention he also has a burrito or two he's probably purchased before he got on the plane. So this guy has 420 lbs of total weight on this plane and absolutely no extra fees!
- 420 lbs total
- $250 total
- 0.595 C/W (Cost to Weight ratio)
Person 2:
- a 120 lb 5' 8" woman who can comfortably fit in one seat, but probably will have to sit next to the fat-ass, brings with her two checked bags, totalling 100 lbs. She also has a 8 lb carry-on and a bottled water. This is a mere total of 230 lbs and she was charged with an extra checked bag fee (let's say $50)!
- 230lbs total
- $300 total
- 1.304 C/W
Person 3:
- a 240 lb 6' 5" man with one checked bag and a carry-on at maybe 50 lbs. Sitting on the window side of the fat-ass with his knees jammed in the seat in front of him and rolls of the lardo next to him. Again, a mere total of 290 lbs and no extra fees. He could have spent $40 extra on an emergency row seat with more legroom, but he can't afford it!
- 290 lbs total
- $250 total
- 0.862 C/W
What is the solution? That's the sticky wicket. I'm sure having scales in the airport and charging based on your weight would not make people happy. But it's a solution that could be a good excuse to lose weight AND pack less shit in your bag when you fly! No, you don't need all that stuff! This is a VACATION!!
At first glance, a static C/W ratio or even fuel to weight ratio seems like the best way to limit weight. Fat-asses can bring less stuff on the plane or they'll be charged for the extra weight. Those who are well below the ratio are fine, but will still be charged for an overweight or extra bag. That's necessary for the extra strain and work the airline and airport employees have to go through.
So what the fuck is the solution here? I don't think it is as concrete as it appears. This is not a rock-solid option ready for the board to vote on. It is merely discussion points to get things started (why do you think my blog is named as it is).
Please, the next time you fly and you see that fat fucker getting on the plane, or the short-ass shithead in the emergency row, or that greasy goombah wearing the overpowering fragrance, or even that ass-face who sleeps in a window seat with the shade down... Give them a good solid "fuck you" for me please!
Thanks, and "fuck you!"
Next Point: The Empty Suit
